Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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