How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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