is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
