think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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