found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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