i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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