That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
