He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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