I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
