Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
