I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
