dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
