Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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