My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
