She announced her abortion via fbk
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
