He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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