I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
