I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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