I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
dude. I can hear the air.
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