This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
