Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
