is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
