I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
