like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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