dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
