I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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