don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
