just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
