i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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