so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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