No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
