I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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