I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Terrible idea I love it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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