i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
