You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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