Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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