So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
