Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
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The feeling are messing with the penis
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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