I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
