marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
