I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize