(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
