she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
