My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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