Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
