It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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