We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
