I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This girl is more easily done than said...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
should my penis look like a turkey
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My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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