so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize