Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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