I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
His hands were made for my vagina.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
