they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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