i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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