I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize