I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Come on in and take your pants off
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