Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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